#47 Embrace your inner authority

Step into personal authority by nurturing what you can’t see.

In a marketing data report at the beginning of 2024, a survey found that 93% of people believe that self-confidence is critical to professional success. 

Confidence has been known to be ranked as one the most attractive quality for both men and women. And yet, 85% of people report struggling with self-confidence issues at some point in their lives.

Confidence is something we can’t fake. What we can’t see, we can definitely feel. And to develop our own personal authority, we have to feel secure and safe by learning how to nurture ourselves.

For most of us, we have to re-parent parts of ourselves on the things that we didn’t get. No matter how much or how little nurturing we got as a child, it seems the majority of us have some wounds we have to tend to and heal ourselves.

It’s part of our experience as we decide who we want to become and to work on those attributes that make us a more vibrant and authentic person.

Confidence and personal power can only come from finding where the trauma lives and mending the pain. In comparison, arrogance is when we think we don’t have any issues or faults that need to be reviewed. 

Confidence then becomes the process of knowing our triggers and knowing the difference of what gets projected on us and where our real value stands. 

It comes from the ability to feed into ourselves that pure love that only we know we need and want. And to nurture ourselves into the best version we want to become on a regular basis. 

This isn’t to say that we’re broken or need fixing. Not at all. Self-development is incredibly exhilarating and rewarding but it does come with hard moments of realization and emotional upheaval to push on our expansion of self.

It’s usually the strong that survive. It’s the challenges that we bravely face and live to tell about it. It’s the patched up wounds and old scars that allow us to measure the growth and depth of the wisdom we carry within.

Confidence comes from learning how to pick ourselves up when no one is around. Self-esteem is being able to see our own value and worth without waiting for others to acknowledge it. 

Self-worth is the determination that keeps you going in the face of adversity and no one can shake you from.

Conviction and your intentions to live a better life are the attributes that create real personal authority. These are the ingredients that make you unstoppable. A leader that people will look to during moments of darkness.

But to be able to stand in that personal authority, there’s an inner vulnerability that has to be reached. By gently exposing that soft underbelly, we can arrive at a deeper level of compassion for ourselves and tend to those darker parts we like to hide from.

We have to feel grounded in our body and our environment first before we can build confidence and personal authenticity. Feeling protected is the initial step as we walk into our own integrity and trust ourselves to move forward. 

We have to be willing to be honest with ourselves, our true nature and hold ourselves accountable when we’re not doing things that are good for us. 

It’s been reported that people with low self-confidence can earn on average $8000 less per year than people with higher self-confidence.

Embrace your inner authority

Take into account how you really view yourself. Observe that internal dialogue you have when things don’t go right. Do you put yourself down when things go wrong? Or are you able to build yourself back up and solve the issues in front of you?

Do you like the perception you have of yourself? If you like how you think of yourself, how can you broaden it even further? 

If you don’t like that perception, how can you take those negative statements and turn them into positive ones?

Structuring confidence

By enabling our creative pursuits and letting ourselves play, we boost our confidence. Around 89% of people agree that engaging in tangible activities increases their self-confidence.

When we follow those fun little passion projects without any expectations, the results are allowed to blossom into outcomes we couldn’t possibly have imagined.

Let’s level up our personal authenticity by self-examining with a few questions:

1. How comfortable am I in truly expressing myself? Am I able to express my wants and needs to myself? You’d be surprised how many people lie to themselves in the name of martyrdom and self-sacrifice to let others go first, or to be societally nice and not give themselves permission to the things they want. They would easily help others advance before helping themselves.
   

2. How accountable am I in my relationships and my behavior? How often do I catch myself when I’ve misstepped or headed in the wrong direction, without beating myself up for it? How am I taking steps towards what I want to create?
   

3. How often do I cave in and take the easy road instead of being disciplined to do the hard work and reap the rewards? Can I sustain being uncomfortable to reach my objectives?
   

4. What can I lean into more that allows me to step into my authentic self? What actions and behaviors do I want to exhibit that opens myself up to my truest version?
   

5. Where do I feel out of balance in my exchanges with myself or others? What mindsets can I tweak to center and empower me?

Once you go through and assess your answers to these questions, then let’s move into actionable steps to take to gain more confidence and inner authority.

Here are 3 actionable ways to strengthen that inner authentic self so you can shine.

1. Take on a small new project.Start on a tiny hobby that you’ve been thinking about. Create something new that excites you and dive into the learning process. There’s always joy in the beginning of any new project and then a challenge arises to overcome. This is where the growth is. Don’t worry about how the outcome will be, just finish the project.
   

2. Learn something new.Plunge into a new topic of interest and see where that leads you. Gain new knowledge and insights that lets you feel like an expert on any topic. Open your mind to new ways of thinking to test old ways of doing things. Add new insights to existing knowledge and advance your wisdom.
   

3. Venture out to a new place.

Did you catch on to the theme of newness in these activities? New takes you out of mental fog. And when you take small steps that offer a little challenge and a tiny bit of change, we move out of staleness. We’re able to see ourselves in a new light by doing something different. 

We can be proud of our mini accomplishments and produce the momentum to take on more slightly larger tasks that increase our confidence and inner authority.

Share this newsletter with anyone who might benefit from the topic.

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